Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize