i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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