omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
