and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
