Small penises have feelings too.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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