I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
