His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
