I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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