Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
