Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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