Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
