I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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