When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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