Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
