New invention idea: vibrating tampons
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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