I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
