I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize