Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
