that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
