I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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