I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
