her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize