We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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