wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
