I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
