i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
What drink are we having for lunch?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
