Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
