i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
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