Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
