Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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