I am puke
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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