I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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