so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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