tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
