Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize