I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
