Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
