She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize