There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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