Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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