I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize