I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
