Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
