Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
