I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize