i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
