What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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