i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Randomize
