C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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