i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Did I show you my penis last night?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
