I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize