I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
