is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
