Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
