In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
