Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
