On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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