and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I cockslap morals
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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