i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
