Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
