Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
